Everyone go home! This wins the Internet todayThe world has been made safe now
From oceans to mountains so steep
It’s time to put down your shield, captain
And go the fuck to sleep.
The hammers are all sitting still now
And the bilchsteim make not a peep
I don’t care that it’s daytime on Asgard
This is Earth, and we fucking sleep.
The spiders are safe in their webs now
Their bites make no one else weep
This is your official downtime
Use it to fucking sleep.
The bows have all been unstrung now
The arrows have made their last leap
I don’t care whose room you nest in
Just go the fuck to sleep.
The formulas have all been proven now
The scanners are doing their sweep
You know what I hear helps when you’re angry?
Going the fuck to sleep.
No more AIs hacking my system now
No more damn machines that go beep
So put down the soldering iron
You can dream up reactors while you sleep.
I know seventy years is a long time
To be dozing way down in the deep
But I know you’re tired, stop lying
And go the fuck to sleep.
The astrophysicists are stargazing
Or would, if their attention you didn’t keep
Who even taught you about skype sex
Wait, I don’t care, just sleep.
Tomorrow you can work on your ledger
Tomorrow through corridors you can creep
But tonight I really don’t need you
Get the fuck off the bridge and sleep.
The hawks tuck under their wings now
The little chicks no longer cheep
You want me to stop making bird puns?
Go the fuck to sleep.
The monitors dim their glow now
And the data is piled in a heap
Yes, fine, we’ll move a cot to the lab
If you promise to just fucking sleep.
The helicarrier moves quietly now
And aboard no one makes even a peep
Oh shit, what the fuck, Stark
Get back to your room and sleep!